Stop lookin' at me, swan!

Most cardiac patients are familiar with the dreaded Swan, or right heart catheter that is placed in the jugular for a few days - except in my case. It measures heart pressures and lots of other stuff (???) to help better understand what is going on. The inventor is Jeremy Swan but I think many call it that because the catheter also resembles the shape of a swans neck. It sucks. It sucks because I can't sleep well and I'm pretty much tethered to my bed because they don't want it shifting around. This means I can't go into the bathroom or shower or do much of anything. I've had mine in for 12 days which is pretty much the max before risk of infection. See the blue guy on my neck? That's it. The other messy wires really aren't as crazy/serious as they look…although I was telling my sister that I'm convinced they are secretly playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey on my chest. Thoughts?

The exciting news is that I go on Swan holiday today when they pull the sucker out for a whopping 24 hours! This means I can roam the hallways, take a shower and I can forgo the commode (or the throne, as I call it) and go into the actual bathroom while on holiday. The little things : )