Hospital Living 101

I've been hospitalized 5 times within the past 11 months averaging a week long visit each time. I think that makes me an expert at hospital living. I really hope that this post is useless for everyone but I thought I'd share my personal "rules" or "tips" or whatever you want to call them on how I make the best of my hospital stay.

This is in no special order and I think some stuff might be specific to cardiology...

Pack a sleep mask. This is somewhat critical to your happiness especially if you are grumpy between 4:00 - 6:00 in the morning like me. Why? Because phlebotomists only care about one thing. Blood. They will loudly bust in your room and turn on EVERY light switch they can find.

Similar to vacation you do get room service, TV in bed and you are trying (sorta) to relax. Even though you may be on a physical break do not mentally check out. I try to ask questions, know what pills the nurse gives me and ask if they just hand it over. We all have days when we accidentally put milk in the kitchen cabinet instead of the fridge (or at least I do!) and nurses are no different. Let me be clear that they have NEVER made a mistake...but we are all human. 

Pack hand sanitizer that smells good. If you are forced to use a commode day in and day out at least treat yourself to good sanitizer to make the experience slightly better. Plus, people walk into your room and think it smells fantastic...when little do they know it is hand sanitizer and they are standing next to a bowl of pee. Sorry. 

Pack your toothbrush, floss and mouthwash. Doesn't this seem like overkill? It's not. If you are restricted from showering for a number of days you will inevitably start to feel pretty disgusting. The one thing you can wash every day, all day is your mouth. Go nuts! It will make you feel better.

Unless you are extremely sick do not eat in your bed. When you are home would you eat a plate of steak and potatoes while lying in bed? Probably not. Try not to do it in the hospital. It makes you feel gross/dirty and even though your bed, eating space, and possibly even your toilet is within arms reach there needs to be a distinction between these activities. BONUS: Don't throw away any food in your room! Waking up to old chinese food sitting in the trash next to your bed is a horrible start to your day. No amount of Pure Paradise scented hand sanitizer will mask the smell. I've learned this the hard way : (

Be kind, respectful and obedient to the hospital staff, especially the nurses. They are taking care of you 24 hours a day and most are too busy to eat lunch. Sure, I might have a massive stash of chocolates and Twizzlers at the ready to keep their blood sugar up, but it's really about respecting them. I'm surprised when I hear that patients aren't cooperative or have attitude. Wait, aren't they trying to save your life? I think nurses should play this scene from Jerry Maguire as a patient orientation video. They are just trying to help!

And on a super unrelated note, Happy Red Nose Day! Thanks to my Aunt Rita for my nose!