A little history and some future plans...

I've been hemming and hawing over the idea of blogging for a while now. In some ways I'm more scared to put myself out there than over what will come in the next few weeks, months, and years of my life which is a WAY bigger deal. I was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy, a type of heart disease at the age of 21 and managed to maintain a normal active life up until the past year when my heart got weaker. I've been in and out of the hospital for months and a few weeks ago my cardiologist decided enough was enough - admit me until I have a heart.  I've been here for almost two weeks with IV meds along with oral meds and a catheter in my neck. So far, I've been doing well physically and emotionally but there is still road to travel.

As a petite, 32 year old female who is sharing a hospital floor with all men who are mostly 20+ years older it can get a little lonely. I've always struggled with the fact that it doesn't make sense that this happened and it would have been nice to connect with someone around my age going through the same situation. I intend to use this space to clear my head, share random stories about my hospital life and keep friends and family updated. However, I really hope that by doing this it will someday help another young person get them through this crazy journey. 

One of my nurses had a great suggestion - each day write down something that I want to do or accomplish in my "new" life after transplant. Some people talk about running marathons after transplant but I really have no interest in that! I hate running. First on my list will be to go hiking with my husband. Earlier on in our relationship when I was feeling well Christian and I would go hiking on the easy trails and we really enjoyed it. Then, last fall we went to the White Mountains for a long weekend and stopped to go for a hike...but once we got to the actual base I turned to him and told him it was too steep for me to handle. Even though he is my husband and totally understood I was still embarrassed that I couldn't do it. Then we went to Colorado for a friends wedding and I ended up getting sick and had to stay in the hospital while (I insisted) Christian go to the wedding. When he called that night he told me that they all went hiking during the day and I was so envious of the fun they had. Since hiking is one of his favorite things it made me feel bad that I couldn't experience it with him. It will feel good to be able to share that activity again and I imagine once I get to the top of the mountain it will feel like a real accomplishment!

So what do you think? Any other suggestions I should add to the list?